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Tuesday, March 24, 2009

When a wine is not just a wine….The No Wining Rule!



Fresh after Carnival one of my friends is clicking through the party galleries on Triniscene, comes upon a photograph of her boyfriend executing what looks like a precariously perched wine atop a drinks cooler at a fete and her blood starts to boil! Suffice to say this causes a heated argument and subsequent rift between them as the boyfriend tries to explain that the girl just “surprised” him with a wine out of the blue and that his head was not positioned to look at her posterior, as it appeared in the photo, but he was really trying to make an escape while looking for his phone to send her (the girlfriend) a text! Apart from the fact that his phone could clearly be seen in the pocket on the OTHER side of the pants ,and his excuse was the lamest ever, I was both bemused and perplexed as to why my friend got SO angry at her boyfriend that it led to a Facebook break up!

“Because we had a NO WINING rule” she explains, “a what?” I asked, “A rule that we were not going to wine on any other people for Carnival, and he told me he did not wine on anyone at that fete!!” I must also add that this fete took place before my girl friend came into the country as her boyfriend came for Carnival a few days ahead of her. And while I thought that the whole incident seemed innocent enough, I mean it IS Carnival after all, a time where some couples are excused to take a wine on any bumsee, other ladies came forward with photographic evidence of their significant others taking a wine on women for Carnival and voiced their support that a wine is not always “just a wine”!

One person I know intimated to me that a friend of his got into some serious trouble for wining on other women in his section with the girlfriend present; apparently the girlfriend got jealous! Another friend noticed that all the photos of her boyfriend for Carnival showed him taking a wine on the SAME girl at various times throughout the day, after he said he didn’t really dance with anyone! Oh and the most proactive action came when this one girl left the band she was in, trekked to another band to look for her boyfriend caught him wining on some other woman, and took him out of that situation immediately; she was not amused! The fallout of post Carnival wining with persons other than the significant other lead to some vexation I tell you!

To me the whole “rule” thing is a bit much, I would think that there would be a mutual understanding between the couple of what they both expect and would accept of the other and their behavior during Carnival that expert rules are not even needed. However clearly there are those individuals that either use Carnival as an excuse to behave as they would not normally do, get caught up in the “spirit of the season”, take advantage of the willing wines offered and just see it as a free pass to wine on anyone on that day! Not to mention that for “foreigners’ not used to the whole concept of wining on other people during Carnival the whole act can be both confusing and liberating at the same time!

I have never had a falling out over taking a wine on someone else for Carnival. I myself do not allow any random stranger to come and “wine up on me just so” and I also have parameters on the kind of wine I will allow someone who is NOT my husband to indulge in. On the flip side, my other half is not the type of person to wine wantonly on any woman that passes by during Carnival either, though I have seen photos of him taking a small wine on other women during Carnival and was not upset, I mean it IS Carnival I would be worried if he were not interested at all! At the end of it all my friend did make back up with her boyfriend, but I do know that every time she sees that photo it annoys the HELL out of her!

So, where does the culture of “freeing up” for Carnival leave a couple and their rules? Are rules really necessary and how flexible should they be? I mean, is it okay to wine on someone else if the significant other is present? Or, how about if the wine is between your partner and a mutual friend, is it OK to wine on friends? In the rules are the number of times, length and grades of wines acceptable established? As a matter of fact how many of YOU have wining rules and were there any falling outs over wining on other people this Carnival?

It is interesting to me to get other’s take on this, because I was surprised at the support for the “no wining rule” though the general consensus was that our friend did go a bit overboard by breaking up with her boyfriend over the photo of him wining on someone else during a fete; it is not as if she caught him cheating after all, it was JUST a wine during Carnival, ent?
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