Diva is not a four letter word

The origin of the word “Diva” comes from the Latin and Italian word for “goddess”, though the use of the word has become synonymous with a demanding or fussy female Opera singer and in recent times has been attributed to outlandish and arrogant behavior by certain stars in pop culture. One only has to pick up a gossip magazine or surf one of the online celebrity websites to learn that Mariah Carey likes to be photographed on one side of her face or J Lo’s list of “must have” items in her dressing room includes just one colour of M&M’s, which qualifies them as bona fide “divas”. Hence the reason for the often incorrect use of a word that really in it’s truest form represent what each woman should aspire to be in my opinion.

When I read JJ’s review of Legacy this statement stood out to me:
“….here were relatively mature, respectful, pleasant and unpretentious folks. No High Maintenance, demanding, posh and stosh diva in sight.”

And it dawned on me that “divas” have been getting a bad reputation not only internationally but also right here in Trinidad. Divas are also respectful, pleasant, mature and even unpretentious; you can be humble and recognize the importance of taking care of yourself. See, to me a Diva is that woman who knows that she is indeed a “goddess” and it has nothing to do with vanity or pride but the fact that she recognizes her own self worth and expects that others treat her not only with respect but truly loves herself. You can be a "diva" at any station of life; old, young, rich or poor. Being a diva has nothing to do with being posh or stush and more about self enlightenment; embracing your inner goddess.

When a person looks in the mirror each day and likes the person looking back at them that is a good thing. It often baffles me that people comment on other’s saying that “she likes herself too much!” Positive daily affirmations help to strengthen your belief that you can surmount any obstacle placed in your way; I had a boss who would walk into the office each day and acclaim “John Doe you are the greatest” in respect to himself, and I am yet to hear anyone call him a Diva, in fact the powers that be all acknowledged that he is indeed very good at his job. So much so that he was hired on contract after he retired to continue doing what he was doing.

I blame my mother for instilling the “divaness” in me; she was the one after all who loved to dress me up in the cutest outfits when I was a child, teaching me to take pleasure in how I looked and most importantly preached to me that there was no word like “can’t” when I fussed about not being able to do something. That has become my mantra, in addition to “discover your inner diva”. Many of my friends have embraced the “love thyself” concept, even the ones who never gave a thought to the face they present to the world have surprised me by not only having a physical makeover but a personality makeover as well. Do not be confused, nothing was wrong with them “before” the transformation but I have witnessed the emergence of their real strength; where before they shied away from letting people know how they feel in order to be “nice” they now speak up and express themselves, if someone speaks to them in a derogatory manner they let them know that they are not tolerating that disrespect and I have had quite a few of my friends give delinquent boyfriends the boot knowing that they do deserve better than the treatment being meted out to them.

Apart from having the strength to overcome any hurdle placed in your way, a diva also takes the time out to pamper herself and knows that there is no guilt or shame to be felt in doing so. Many of us have jobs that are stressful at times, endure personal relationships that work the last nerve and some of us even have to deal with being a working housewife and mother. Therefore taking “me” time is so extremely important to mental well being I think all doctors should prescribe it. And, the pampering does not have to be anything involving beauty, if that is not your thing, but something as simple as shutting your bedroom door and indulging in a good book for a few hours. Of course getting a manicure, pedicure, massage, working out or getting all dolled up at the hairdresser can be great for the body and great therapy as well!

Real divas, not the ones who are pretenders to the title, also know that you do not have to flaunt it. Honestly, that girl who goes around announcing to the world how great she is does not have a clue that a diva never has to advertise her “greatness” nor does she have to be anything but herself to be considered special or even cares who thinks she is special or not, as long as she believes it that is all that matters. See, each of us has something that sets us apart from the other; some are smart, others talented and then there are those who meet the standard of beauty that the “world” has set. Unfortunately we are judged by our appearance (as much as “they” tout real beauty comes from inside) and it would be remiss to dismiss the people who won the genetic lottery and are considered beautiful.

However each of us can work whatever God blessed us with and you know what, there is absolutely nothing conceited with wanting to improve our appearance; why then do we work out or diet? Fact is a little boost to the self esteem is always good, so I encourage people to get that unibrow waxed, wear makeup to fake perfect skin and get that “perfect” haircut that accentuates your bone structure if it makes YOU feel better about yourself. An unhealthy obsession with physical beauty is NOT a diva trait mind you neither is looking at your "flaws" in a negative light. A true diva knows that a perceived flaw can be the one thing that makes you unique and sets you apart from the crowd; Cindy Crawford had that mole which made her famous didnt she? So, lets say you have to wear glasses don't see it as being something that you have to do but use it as an accessory and find the most fabulous pair which complements your face beautifully.

Carnival is the perfect time to explore your inner diva knowing that the whole idea of dressing up in costume is to transform yourself into a character. Therefore if all year your sexy side has been withheld due to the corporate attire or you simply do not have the time to devote to the pampering you would like to, for two days you can go all out and glam it up from head to toe! That’s why you get the makeup done, get the matching boots, get the fake eyelashes and some even take it a step further and get to play in a front line costume! Sure it might seem “too much” for some people, even that the ones who devote all this energy into looking good are indeed high maintenance, arrogant and haughty. But if you cannot let loose during Carnival when else are you ever going to get the opportunity to be hedonistic without having to make excuses to anyone?! My take on it is that I do not wear boots adorned with glitter, fake eyelashes or outlandish makeup all year long so I am going to enjoy it for the two days. I also happen to love fashion, love dressing up and love being glamorous for Carnival (that is what it means to me) and that is not going to change because it does not meet someone else’s standard; at the end of the day the only one that has to be happy is me!

To all the other women who embrace their inner goddess, I salute you. Conquering the hardships, bias and disregard that often befalls our gender in addition to being a caregiver, wife and mother is enough to earn that title. Know that inside each and every one of us is a little bit of “diva” and that is a good thing!